gf: come over
me: i can’t i’m doing a headstand
gf: my parents are out :)
starbucks employee: hi can i take ur order please
me: ur such a nice batista
starbucks employee: don’t u mean barista
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.
OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM.
I did both…
i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now
You kinky son of a bitch.
I used to step on mine until they exploded.